Wikileaks has gained notoriety in the past few weeks for leaking confidential journals regarding the war (that was supposed to be over by now) in Afghanistan.  I moseyed on over and checked out the documents myself.   Boring.  I supposed I should have dug deeper, because nestled in the controversy was this gem of a story.  One of my least favorite newspapers has the scoop. Mortars, Guns, Machettes....egh, the insurgents just find them all too boring of tools for killing invasive American Geologists.  Poison beer, now that's fun!  That's right, apparently the Wikileak documents purport that the ISI (Afghan spy agency) and insurgents actually intended on using the method with regularity.  Americans do love them some beer, after all.  And one American Geologists claims to have been a victim: James Yeager, an American geologist who advised Afghanistan's Ministry of Mines, tells the Monitor he returned to his residence in Kabul to find it had been burgled. The intruder took money from a drawer and left behind a bottle of Corona beer. The Corona bottle sat on his counter for the next two weeks Yeager says, because Corona is one of his least favorite beers. He finally opened it during a going away party as ...

This is our fourth attempt to do the uncouth: intentionally stereotype, our first attempt was a tad fun as was the last (and my favorite, "Partying Dudes"). You see, in a past post we discussed stereotypes a bit in a nonjudgmental and humorous attitude. It occurred to those who participated in the discussion that it might be fun to take to higher, beer level, since for the most part, the posts on this blog lean toward the rote information. So occasionally, we will post a picture of an individual(s) and as our readers to do that which are politically-correct-obsessed society detests...stereotype the face(s) associated with the post. What do they drink? Why do they drink it? Where do they drink it? Where do they buy their clothes?...the sky is the limit. Just try to be nice. We here at Thank Heaven For Beer don't mean to offend...in fact, our own mugshots have faced the ridicule of Stereotype Me. We applaud diversity (as long is it walks, talks, looks, and smells like us) just as we do sarcastic humor. With out further ado...stereotype this tower of baldness:

The older I get, the more difficult I find it is to stay awake at certain times.  I can't even drive at night anymore.  I would fall asleep at the wheel if I drove too late, I fall asleep at church (shhh!), I fall asleep at the computer, etc.   Maybe as I get older my body just is slowing down.  Or maybe it's having five kids.  Who knows? So the other night, I poured myself a glass of beer in the evening.  It was later, probably 10pm.  The beer was actually a beer I wouldn't normally buy, but I purchased it for $5.99 for a sixer at my local beer store:  Sierra Nevada's Anniversary Ale. The stuff isn't bad, it's just boring.  Even at the great price I wouldn't buy it again. Anyway, even a lower ranking beer is delicious.  I took a few sips.  Very nice.  I settled back onto the couch turned the television on to Mythbusters (shut up).  The next thing I know, I'm waking up with a bit of sore neck and it's 4am.  I look over, and there is the beer, sitting on the coffee table with only a sip missing.  If a glass of beer had ...

More often than not, when I bring up Michael Jackson in a beer related conversation, I have to digress from the topic and briefly explain that I am not referring to the late King of Pop, but I am referring to perhaps the most influential beer enthusiast to have lived in the past century. Besides elevating beer in the epicurean world as a from a low brow beverage to a fine and delicious imbibement packed with culture and history, Michael Jackson quite literally defined what beer is (The World Guide To Beer) There is no need for me to rehash a biography of Jackson since 1) that is not the gist of this post and 2) it has already been done (in fact Wikipedia does a decent job, as does BeerHunter.com).   Simply put, I found another reason to be fond of Jackson.  I recently stumbled across a clip of Jackson on Late Night with Conan O'brien, and found it quite worthy of repeating. The nature of beer is nicely summed up in the unpretentious, jovial, and passionate Jackson.  It is clear that while there is no aristocratic/snobby air about him, he is quite concerned with his conviction of the superiority of beer.  ...

As I was going through old files on my computer I found this gem hidden below the dust and rubble of computers past, go ahead and click "play" as you read on: [audio:http://thankheavenforbeer.com/Audio/The%20%c5nswer%20%28Is%20Beer%29.mp3] Music and beer have gone together for ages.  In fact, many of the old hymns you may sing in your churches actually credit their music to old pub and drinking songs of the middle ages and earlier. And how many epic love songs were written after a few beers got the artist thinking introspectively? The song you are listening to right now (which just oozes of pure awesomeness) I actually downloaded from some random MySpace music page back before the mighty empire of myspace tumbled.  I wish I could attribute some credit to the artists, whose names are "Scott and Jimmy," but the MySpace page has long since vanished. It's too bad. Many a time I have sat down at my guitar and tried to compose a sonnet as lovely as "The Answer Is Beer," but have always come up short. I hope to someday compose a song of such beauty. When I do, you will be the first to know? Do you like the song? Have ...

Some beers are very complex.  Occasionally, I'll have difficulty pinning down a flavor or putting a brew into words. However, beer is always accessible and approachable in ways that many parts of life are not.  Something that happened the other day really got me thinking of how simple the pleasure of beer really is, and I wondered if a degree of my sanity is maintained by the ostensibly innocuous act of slaking my gullet with a beer or two.  There's really no caveat that can lead me to what I'm about to write, so I'm going to launch into it. Andrea and I run.  We try to exercise and take good care of ourselves, so we find ourselves running around town.  Often times, when we are not running at the Rose Bowl, we jog to the park where I can do pull-ups and the like.  I never thought that I'd see some abstract and somewhat ridiculous art while running--but there I was. Lap 1:  I see what looks like an old guy in a diaper with wings on his back standing behind a woman in a dress, who is sitting on a bench with a man beside her and a dog on ...

Previously unbeknown to me, there apparently exists a council of men and women who represent the earth who go by "The Elders of the Earth." Upon looking at their website (that resembles a marriage between Star Trek and a weird cult) I discovered that indeed, these self appointed Elders are ‘an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by Nelson Mandela, who offer their collective influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity.’ While their humanitarian goals and Utopian mindset are praiseworthy, where's the democracy?  Regardless, recognizeable and notable figures comprise  this panel of elders:  Kofi Annan, Ela Bhatt, Lakhdar Brahimi,Gro Brundtland, Fernando H Cardoso, Jimmy Carter, Graça Machel, Mary Robinson, Desmond Tutu, Muhammad Yunus. While dwelling on this quirky bunch of social progressives, my mind couldn't resist wandering into beer world.  This happens to me at least 20 times a day.  I began considering the fact that perhaps there needs to be an "Elders of Beer" coalition.  Just as our Elders of Earth battle crimes to humanity in the here and now, surely there needs to be a coalition of beer elders to combat poor beer ...

This is our second attempt to do the uncouth: intentionally stereotype, our first attempt was a tad fun. You see, in a past post we discussed stereotypes a bit in a nonjudgmental and humorous attitude. It occurred to those who participated in the discussion that it might be fun to take to higher, beer level, since for the most part, the posts on this blog lean toward the rote information.  So occasionally, we will post a picture of an individual(s) and as our readers to do that which are politically-correct-obsessed society detests...stereotype the face(s) associated with the post.  What do they drink?  Why do they drink it? Where do they drink it?  Where do they buy their clothes?...the sky is the limit.  Just try to be nice.  We here at Thank Heaven For Beer don't mean to offend...in fact, eventually our own mugshots will be the face to be stereotyped.  We applaud diversity (as long is it walks, talks, looks, and smells like us) just as we do sarcastic humor. With out further ado...stereotype this guy:

MillerCoors recently recalled cans of cold Coors Light after the company determined the batch, brewed at the MillerCoors Georgia brewery  was "subpar."  A conspiracy theorist at heart, I have spent countless hours contemplating the actual reason for the recall.  Feel free to add any as you see fit! 10. Neanderthal like Coors Light consumers were caught launching cans of the "Silver Bullet" at obsessed fans of the movie Twilight, fearing them to be actual vampires.  The company feared lawsuits.  Fortunately, no goths were hurt in the incidents. 9. Clever marketing.  Any press is good press.  Brittany Spears shaved her head, John and Kate Plus Eight parade their divorce across The Learning Channel, Sinéad O'Connor tore up a photo of the Pope, and MillerCoors "recalled" beer. 8. Someone forgot to urinate in the this particular batch.  Dang! 7. A disgruntled employee replaced the "r" in "Coors" with an "n" on all of one particular shipment of cans.   Fearing racial discrimination lawsuits, the company had no choice but to bite the bullet and dump profit. 6. A pipe routing mistake actually filled the cans with Miller Light.  The megolomaniacal company did not want their loyal brainwashed consumers to get too big for their britches after indulging ...

It seems to me to be a fair assumption that we've all see at least snippets of the Oscars, Golden Globes, or some other such actors/actresses award show. Brad Pitt, Al Paccino, and many other actors have received accolades at these awards. But I happen to think that the best actors are being overlooked. No, I'm not talking about Vandaver Valarie (that's a made up name...don't google it), some b-side independent film actor that not even indie actors have heard of. I'm talking about more common and every day actors. The group that I find to be particularly good at acting are people in commercials. Don't laugh, I'm being serious. I have a certain group in mind when I say the above. Namely, I'm referencing those actors who are used in the big brewery beer commercials. Think about it: they are selling an inferior product and doing a good job at it. Does anybody recognize "drinkability," "less filling," or a certain Jet song from these commercials? Packaging is everything, apparently. I can only believe that these burgeoning soap opera actors are destined for future greatness. Who else could pretend to think ...