As I was going through old files on my computer I found this gem hidden below the dust and rubble of computers past, go ahead and click "play" as you read on: [audio:http://thankheavenforbeer.com/Audio/The%20%c5nswer%20%28Is%20Beer%29.mp3] Music and beer have gone together for ages.  In fact, many of the old hymns you may sing in your churches actually credit their music to old pub and drinking songs of the middle ages and earlier. And how many epic love songs were written after a few beers got the artist thinking introspectively? The song you are listening to right now (which just oozes of pure awesomeness) I actually downloaded from some random MySpace music page back before the mighty empire of myspace tumbled.  I wish I could attribute some credit to the artists, whose names are "Scott and Jimmy," but the MySpace page has long since vanished. It's too bad. Many a time I have sat down at my guitar and tried to compose a sonnet as lovely as "The Answer Is Beer," but have always come up short. I hope to someday compose a song of such beauty. When I do, you will be the first to know? Do you like the song? Have ...

Some beers are very complex.  Occasionally, I'll have difficulty pinning down a flavor or putting a brew into words. However, beer is always accessible and approachable in ways that many parts of life are not.  Something that happened the other day really got me thinking of how simple the pleasure of beer really is, and I wondered if a degree of my sanity is maintained by the ostensibly innocuous act of slaking my gullet with a beer or two.  There's really no caveat that can lead me to what I'm about to write, so I'm going to launch into it. Andrea and I run.  We try to exercise and take good care of ourselves, so we find ourselves running around town.  Often times, when we are not running at the Rose Bowl, we jog to the park where I can do pull-ups and the like.  I never thought that I'd see some abstract and somewhat ridiculous art while running--but there I was. Lap 1:  I see what looks like an old guy in a diaper with wings on his back standing behind a woman in a dress, who is sitting on a bench with a man beside her and a dog on ...

Previously unbeknown to me, there apparently exists a council of men and women who represent the earth who go by "The Elders of the Earth." Upon looking at their website (that resembles a marriage between Star Trek and a weird cult) I discovered that indeed, these self appointed Elders are ‘an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by Nelson Mandela, who offer their collective influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity.’ While their humanitarian goals and Utopian mindset are praiseworthy, where's the democracy?  Regardless, recognizeable and notable figures comprise  this panel of elders:  Kofi Annan, Ela Bhatt, Lakhdar Brahimi,Gro Brundtland, Fernando H Cardoso, Jimmy Carter, Graça Machel, Mary Robinson, Desmond Tutu, Muhammad Yunus. While dwelling on this quirky bunch of social progressives, my mind couldn't resist wandering into beer world.  This happens to me at least 20 times a day.  I began considering the fact that perhaps there needs to be an "Elders of Beer" coalition.  Just as our Elders of Earth battle crimes to humanity in the here and now, surely there needs to be a coalition of beer elders to combat poor beer ...

This is our second attempt to do the uncouth: intentionally stereotype, our first attempt was a tad fun. You see, in a past post we discussed stereotypes a bit in a nonjudgmental and humorous attitude. It occurred to those who participated in the discussion that it might be fun to take to higher, beer level, since for the most part, the posts on this blog lean toward the rote information.  So occasionally, we will post a picture of an individual(s) and as our readers to do that which are politically-correct-obsessed society detests...stereotype the face(s) associated with the post.  What do they drink?  Why do they drink it? Where do they drink it?  Where do they buy their clothes?...the sky is the limit.  Just try to be nice.  We here at Thank Heaven For Beer don't mean to offend...in fact, eventually our own mugshots will be the face to be stereotyped.  We applaud diversity (as long is it walks, talks, looks, and smells like us) just as we do sarcastic humor. With out further ado...stereotype this guy:

MillerCoors recently recalled cans of cold Coors Light after the company determined the batch, brewed at the MillerCoors Georgia brewery  was "subpar."  A conspiracy theorist at heart, I have spent countless hours contemplating the actual reason for the recall.  Feel free to add any as you see fit! 10. Neanderthal like Coors Light consumers were caught launching cans of the "Silver Bullet" at obsessed fans of the movie Twilight, fearing them to be actual vampires.  The company feared lawsuits.  Fortunately, no goths were hurt in the incidents. 9. Clever marketing.  Any press is good press.  Brittany Spears shaved her head, John and Kate Plus Eight parade their divorce across The Learning Channel, Sinéad O'Connor tore up a photo of the Pope, and MillerCoors "recalled" beer. 8. Someone forgot to urinate in the this particular batch.  Dang! 7. A disgruntled employee replaced the "r" in "Coors" with an "n" on all of one particular shipment of cans.   Fearing racial discrimination lawsuits, the company had no choice but to bite the bullet and dump profit. 6. A pipe routing mistake actually filled the cans with Miller Light.  The megolomaniacal company did not want their loyal brainwashed consumers to get too big for their britches after indulging ...

It seems to me to be a fair assumption that we've all see at least snippets of the Oscars, Golden Globes, or some other such actors/actresses award show. Brad Pitt, Al Paccino, and many other actors have received accolades at these awards. But I happen to think that the best actors are being overlooked. No, I'm not talking about Vandaver Valarie (that's a made up name...don't google it), some b-side independent film actor that not even indie actors have heard of. I'm talking about more common and every day actors. The group that I find to be particularly good at acting are people in commercials. Don't laugh, I'm being serious. I have a certain group in mind when I say the above. Namely, I'm referencing those actors who are used in the big brewery beer commercials. Think about it: they are selling an inferior product and doing a good job at it. Does anybody recognize "drinkability," "less filling," or a certain Jet song from these commercials? Packaging is everything, apparently. I can only believe that these burgeoning soap opera actors are destined for future greatness. Who else could pretend to think ...

Disclaimer: This is not directed at anyone in particular. Don't be self-absorbed and think that I'm talking specifically about you. I'm always critical of the person who exclusively drinks macro beer. In fact, I can be critical of someone who drinks them with any regularity. Now that I work in a liquor store, I've observed a phenomenon. Mr. Regular comes in and buys the same old beer every time. He walks in and grabs Natural Light. He knows exactly where it's at, how much it costs and has the exact change. "Put it in a bag," he says. Who can blame him? I would hide it, too. What else can he be doing but hiding the fact that he bought worthless beer for the purpose of inebriation? It can't be that he really believes that walking out a liquor store won't be perceived as buying beer, so long as he has it in a bag. This article is not really about that; let people have bags if they want to feel fancy or do it out of habit. All I can say is that if variety is the spice ...

It is no secret to those who have drunk the kool-aid (code for beer) and joined the clandestine community of beer lovers that this week (May 11th - 17th) is officially American Craft Beer Week. "Aaaaagggghhhh." That was me breathing a sigh of relief of not being guilted into heading down to the Hallmark shop to buy a card for my secretary (as if I had one) or reproduce a picture of my pooch for my vet simply to belong as a cog in mass consumerism.   Rather, it is a relief to participate in a holiday I believe in (not to be trumped by Christmas, Easter, or my wife';s birthday, mind you!). Yes, there are many holidays.  Too many in fact, but this one resonates, because someday Mike, myself, and many of you (Big Tex, for one) hope to be recognized as one of the 1500 craft brewers in the US, who daily struggle to work to produce a fine bubbly beverage that eases the burdens that have accumulated on the weary shoulders of Americas working class.  I for one, pledge to drink fine craft beer for the duration of this fine holiday, and I suggest you, dear reader, do the same.  ...

Does anyone listen to the radio? I try to avoid it like the plague. Why? I'm tired of hearing the same old songs. Now that everybody else is tired of hearing the same old songs, there's a new brilliant idea that has come up: remake the same old songs with different people. Let's hear their deconstructionist interpretation of an already overdone (and sometimes crappy) song. What's worse is that the new artist (in the majority of cases) makes an old, good song terrible. I heard a Moody Blues remake the other day that made me puke...metaphorically, of course. But it's become intolerable. Even worse, teens hear this "new" song and are completely ignorant of the original artist. I see some analogous things happening in the beer world. Luckily, this is not strictly true for everything. I'm not an iconoclast by any means when it comes to beer. However, I do like something new or a new spin on an old style. If I had a brewery, I think that I'd mix between making good versions of traditional styles, spins on old styles, and real boundary pushers. Some breweries, like ...

In a past post we discussed stereotypes a bit in a nonjudgmental and humorous attitude. It occurred to those who participated in the discussion that it might be fun to take to higher, beer level, since for the most part, the posts on this blog lean toward the rote information.  So occasionally, we will post a picture of an individual(s) and as our readers to do that which are politically-correct-obsessed society detests...stereotype the face(s) associated with the post.  What do they drink?  Why do they drink it? Where do they drink it?  Where do they buy their clothes?...the sky is the limit.  Just try to be nice.  We here at Thank Heaven For Beer don't mean to offend...in fact, eventually our own mugshots will be the face to be stereotyped.  We applaud diversity (as long is it walks, talks, looks, and smells like us) just as we do sarcastic humor. With out further ado...stereotype these guys: