What you drive can say a lot about you. I rock a Nissan Quest Minivan. The carpet is hidden beneath layers of graham cracker crumbs, the windows are mired in finger prints, and back to rows of seats boast some wicked Graco childs’ car seats. No, I’m not a rock star (your shocked, right), I’m a family man.
A couple of weeks ago as I was riding a bicycle through my new neighborhood, I nearly lost my balance and careened into the gutter. I hadn’t hit any potholes and the tires hadn’t blown, I had just become so distracted by the monstrosity you see below.
To begin with, late 80′s Ford Econoline Conversion Vans–especially the ones with the raised roof (clearly made for habitation, not just transportation)–are creepy in an of themselves. They hearken of weird Cody from the most awesome sitcom ever (Step By Step) and that creepy dude that always parks in front of the elementary school when classes let out. BUT, throw in a full scale Busch Beer decal, and you’ve rendered me speechless.
What would inspire an individual to spend their hard earned money to adorn their mystery mobile with an in your face, Busch, body wrap? I tried to give my neighbor (he lives one block away) the benefit of the doubt, that maybe this relic was once owned by Anheisur Busch and perhaps he had just picked it up at an auction. Certainly he is not that evangelistic for Busch beer. But as my wife was jogging past the monstrosity, she noticed the license plate: HD 4 MNT. Yup. That’s a Vanity Plate recalling Busch’s famous slogan, “Head For The Mountains Of Busch.” Good God…the owner of this thing really is a Busch fanatic.
I guess we all are peculiar in some way. While I hate it when I am wearing only socks on my feet and step in a puddle of water, I am sure somebody, somewhere absolutely loves the sensation. The moral? To each his own.
None the less, a couple of questions come to mind…
1) I’ve never laid eyes on the owner…what sort of person would you stereotype he/she to be?
2) If you had to geek out your vehicle with loyalty to a particular brewery, what would you choose?
3) Deep inside, do you long for this van?