You gotta love The Onion. Somehow their combination of absurdity, blatant falsehood, and disregard for the politically correct manages to make sense of life at times. An article that they published back in March of 2010 recently made it to my desk and practically left me in stitches.
The story–Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts–is about a family man, Steve Gibson, who becomes gets drawn in to the online of world of mustard connoisseurs. He soon finds himself hoarding craft and imported mustard, contemplating growing mustard in his backyard, posting brewing vinegar for his own mustard concoctions, writing mustard reviews on sites dedicated to mustard reviews, etc.
Please take the time to go The Onion to read the full article…you’ll be glad you did. Here are a few excerpts:
Initially, Gibson’s family encouraged his new interest, saying they were pleased he had found something to do with his spare time and that he was cooking more in order to show off the mustards he made.
“I thought it was pretty neat at first,” said Gibson’s wife, Heather. “After a while, though, it seemed like every conversation we had was about something the people on his mustard website said. One night I woke up at 3 a.m. and found him bathed in the light of the computer screen, posting his latest mustard thoughts to the message boards.”
“I don’t know how I wound up at that point, but thank God I escaped when I did,” Gibson, 41, said Friday. “There I was, a grown man, planning a trip to the Mustard Museum in Wisconsin, when suddenly I heard a voice deep within me say, ‘This is not what you want your life to be about.’”
Added Gibson: “But then I walk away. I think about my family, remember that Dijon-slathering, watery-eyed zombie I nearly became, and I walk away.”
It seems pretty obvious that the article is a satire on the online world of craft beer enthusiasm. Replace the word mustard with beer, and I’ll bet you are instantly reminded of a few friends…perhaps even yourself. I had to ask myself, is this really how beer geeks are perceived…as cockeyed lunatics who’s obsession dominates their lives, their thought processes, and their conversations?
Just a little food for thought.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have an invigorating conversation with my wife concerning Beer Advocate member, crazycrazybeerdude‘s, idiotic review of Southern Tier’s Cuvee2. I mean, the guy seriously picked up hints of sassafras…clearly there is no sassafras notes in the beer. He should have picked up on the Cave Aged Swiss Gruyere.