Today’s post is not written my Mike or I.  Vince Marotte, of Nikao is guest posting.  He offers a unique perspective on beer, as he is a pastor (and father, business owner, we developer, etc.),  Check out/subscribe to his blog…he always has something interesting/wise to offer.

Now enjoy his post…it’s pretty funny.

How Can You Tell?

by Vince Marotte
There are a few things that are unique to the American Christian community that you don’t see in the rest of the world and one of those things is the mixed view on drinking. In the United States, not only do a large number of Christians abstain from Alcohol, but there is a disturbing amount of Christians that do not even consider it a gray area, but downright sin.

This creates a unique situation for those of us who wish to follow in the steps of Christ and partake and share a drink.

How can you tell if the company you are in will stone you if you order a drink at dinner, or if you bring your favorite ale to a gathering? Let’s be honest, there are a lot of people out there that would look down on you for life if you just came out and asked if it was cool if you ordered a drink. So in the interest of being safe, which I hate, here’s how I play it…

There are a lot of things to consider here, but lets start with the biggest group of ‘weaker vessels’ and work our way down.

Are they white?
Abstainers are almost exclusively white. There are some exceptions, especially in the denominational area. Since the grounds for abstaining are very much a cultural thing and not a Biblical mandate, culture is the first place to start. If they are ethnic there’s a good chance you’re safe, and if they are immigrants to the United States, I’d say you’re good to go. If they are white, you’d best dig a little deeper.

Denominational affiliation
This has gotten tricky in the last ten years with the boom in non-denominational churches that are pretty conservative. Better dig deeper.

Calvary Chapel – No chance. In fact, I think it is the only litmus for spiritual health at Calvary Chapel. Stick with water.

Any Baptist sect – C’mon. Do you need to be told?

Presbyterian – There’s a good chance you are fine. You may need to dig a little deeper. While you’re at it, ask them if they’re still saved.

Methodist or any other liturgical sect – Green light. Since they wish they were Catholic anyway. They probably have real wine in the church.

Catholic – Let’s be honest, they will drink you under the table.

Charismatic – No. Two reasons. Either they are a part of a hyper conservative branch or they are or know someone that is recovering from something. Besides, they would rather get drunk on the Holy Ghost right?

Fine Tuning the Decision
These first steps might not be enough to make you feel comfortable ordering your favorite IPA at BJ’s, so you may need to dig a little deeper.

Music – Stir up a conversation about music, to make it quick, ask their opinion about Radiohead. If they dig Radiohead, you’re good to go if they aren’t familiar, then dig a little deeper. If they have not heard of them, take it farther. You may think their opinion of U2 would be a good indicator, not so. Besides, I’m sick of hearing about U2. Generally if they seem to be deflecting to ‘Christian’ music and not mentioning ‘secular’ bands they dig, it’s a no go, order raspberry ice tea.

Movies – Again, make it quick. Ask them if they liked ‘Life Aquatic’. It’s a good movie to start with because if there is a chance they would be offended by it, then they haven’t heard of it and you can just move on and order a Shirley temple. Weather they liked it or not, if they have heard of it, they are probably in touch with reality and at this point you can just ask them straight up if it’s okay if you order a pint.

Yeah, it sucks to have to worry about this. But it’s the reality we live in. And let’s face it, we need these Christian brothers and sisters on our side, differences aside. This issue shouldn’t be one that divides us, that’s what Eschatology is for, right?