Mental illness is setting in from acute beer obsession.  As I read more beer books, certain terms always strike me as odd or weird sounding.  Some terms I would even be afraid to say in front of my grandmother; who wants to sound like he’s being filthy around the grams?  Anyway, I decided to start another small series with some of the funnier terms.  We’ll be calling it “Beer Terms that Sound Bad.”

Flocculation- Sounds like: Something that might happen after a really good prom night.

Actually is: When yeast and other particulate matter drops out of the beer and settles to the bottom.

Endosperm- Sounds like: Something that you would do if attempting to have a child or were absolutely sure that birth control was being used.

Actually is: Starch containing portion of the grain used to make the sugar necessary for alcohol fermentation.

Dry Hopping-Sounds like: An unsuccessful date with a painful result.

Actually is: When dry hops are added to a beer after the boiling period. Normally, while the beer matures.

Germination- Sounds like: 1. What the Nazis were trying to create / 2. What will happen when the swine flu actually spreads.

Actually is: When the barley seed comes out of storage mode and makes possible its use for malting.

Aflatoxin- Sounds like: Antibiotics will be needed from risky behavior.

Actually is: Mold culture toxins that grow in various beer adjuncts from excessive water, bad temperature control, or poor air circulation of various beer adjuncts.

Amylopectins-Sounds like: Low-hanging man boobs.

Actually is: Starch chains that branch (and have to be broken down).

Chit, or Chit Malt-Sounds like: 1. Something you’d say if you dropped a keg on your foot; 2. If the malt was bad, you’d call it “chit malt.”

Actually is: White tip on a barley kernel where the embryo is.

Cones-Sounds like: Something Madonna wore or slang for breasts.

Actually is: Many things. Hop cones, bottom of certain fermentation tanks, or shape in which sediment takes when stirred to form a whirlpool.

Decoction mashing-Sounds like: German slang for masturbation.

Actually is: Part of the mash is taken out, cooked for a short interval, and put back in to raise overall temperature.

There are plenty more to come.