My lovely wife had a brain child.  That brain child was to tell you what it’s like to be married to a beer geek like myself.  Sit back and hold…

When my husband and I married almost seven years ago, he was well on his way to beer geekdom. Obviously, now he has fully arrived and recently dedicated an article to this topic. After reading the “Top Ten Signs that you’re a Beer Geek,” I became conscious not only of those qualities in the beer geeks I know but also some common phenomena that their wives share, which is now the subject of this article…

The Top Ten Signs that You’re the Wife of a Beer Geek:

10. You aren’t a “beer drinker,” and yet you recognize and affirm that drinking beer involves a culture and experience. You’ve been a consistent observer of that world and even had occasions to participate in it.

9. You are not a beer drinker, yet you’ve tasted dozens, even hundreds of different beers…

8. …and not only so, but you actually know how to taste (sight, smell, taste—you would never offend your beer geek spouse by just picking up the glass and taking a swig) and how to describe a beer. Hazy. Roasty. Warm. Bitter. Grapefruit. Dry.

7. …and even though you don’t necessarily LIKE the taste of the beer, you can differentiate whether it is of good or poor quality. For instance, “That one has good balance and complexity, but I still don’t like the flavor any more than I enjoy chewing on black licorice” (come on, nobody REALLY likes black licorice!). “That one tastes like someone put it in a glass with ice cubes, left it sitting out in the sun all day, and then tried to pass it off as beer.”

6. You’re not much of a beer drinker, and yet you’ve caught yourself making disparaging remarks about those popular “domestic” brands.  Triple hopped?  Really?!  (That just sounds made up!)

5. You’ve taken numerous vacations (a honeymoon, etc.) involving beer shopping, beer tasting, breweries, pubs, local beers, etc. If you’ve been the wife of a beer geek long term, you’ve also likely enjoyed the experience. (Sub-category: your spouse thinks visits to the in-laws are a special treat because he has the opportunity to try different regional beers that he can’t get at home.)

4. Bottles. Bottles everywhere. Bottles coming out of your ears.

3. You’ve “helped” brew even though you had a million things you’d much rather have been doing.

2. Ten dollars does NOT seem like an unreasonable amount to spend on a single bottle of beer. After all, you would never expect to get a superb wine for $2.00. (Sub-category: Beer is an official part of your household budget.)

1. You’re surprised by the fact that YOU have actually come to enjoy (even to love!) beer.

* I realize that not everyone who is a beer geek is male, but I’m using “wife” because I am one, as well as for the sake of simplicity and because MOST people who are married to beer geeks are wives.