Does anyone listen to the radio? I try to avoid it like the plague. Why? I’m tired of hearing the same old songs. Now that everybody else is tired of hearing the same old songs, there’s a new brilliant idea that has come up: remake the same old songs with different people. Let’s hear their deconstructionist interpretation of an already overdone (and sometimes crappy) song. What’s worse is that the new artist (in the majority of cases) makes an old, good song terrible. I heard a Moody Blues remake the other day that made me puke…metaphorically, of course. But it’s become intolerable. Even worse, teens hear this “new” song and are completely ignorant of the original artist.

I see some analogous things happening in the beer world. Luckily, this is not strictly true for everything. I’m not an iconoclast by any means when it comes to beer. However, I do like something new or a new spin on an old style. If I had a brewery, I think that I’d mix between making good versions of traditional styles, spins on old styles, and real boundary pushers. Some breweries, like AB, are making laughable “craft” beers, but they’re of no account to me. Taking an inferior and cheap recipe and ruining people’s idea of a world classic should be a criminal offense. Leinenkugel’s 1888 Bock…need I say more?

The real crime is that some people, let’s call them the teens from the example above, are completely ignorant of the original artist (so to speak) or at least a really good cover-band. But a person who has had the real deal can always tell a fake. It’s akin to putting a cubic zirconium in front of a diamond dealer. The jig is up before it begins.

This is really a call to arms for my fellow beer drinkers and brewers. Let’s spread awareness that these remade, rehashed, regurgitated beers are simply ersatz examples of the classic styles that we’ve come to know and love. Let’s tell them that Rolling Rock is not a Pale Ale. No matter how extra it is, it pales in comparison. Share a good beer with a friend, and together we can end the bad remakes once and for all.

What other bad versions of a good style can you think of?